Diploma of Quarantine Survival (RONI20)

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Course Description

The year is 2020. Millions of hard-working people face a daily struggle to retain sanity under strict government-imposed lockdowns due to the deadly coronavirus outbreak. To protect ourselves and our loved ones, we all must endure this long period of social isolation, while also maintaining our physical and mental wellbeing.

The current situation presents a new set of challenges for which many of us are unprepared. Whether you’re a student living in a flatshare, a single parent, or part of a family with small kids, our course has been designed to build the necessary skills for you to thrive under lockdown.

Average Course Fee

$750 or 1.5 rolls of single-ply toilet roll

Average Duration

Anything from a few weeks to 18 months

Study Mode

Online Only (Whoosh or Housefun or whatever it’s called)

Number of Providers

Course Units

VIDCON101 - Understanding Video Calls

As offices and schools around the globe have closed to flatten the curve, millions of us have started studying or working from home. This means you’re likely joining video conference calls with colleagues or classmates who have also hidden their dirty laundry just out of frame and are probably not wearing pants. In this unit we’ll teach you what the hell Zoom is, how to use it, and how to mute yourself to avoid sharing the graphic audio of your bathroom break.

HARMONY101 - Maintaining Harmonious Relationships

Did you know divorce lawyers are expecting an increase in divorce rates due to the prolonged periods of self-imposed confinement couples will endure? In this unit you’ll learn how to maintain spousal harmony through techniques such as active listening, respecting boundaries and just stopping and thinking for one second before you open your big dumb stupid mouth, Kyle…. ugh my mother was right about you.

TEEPEE101 - Improvised Toilet Paper

We’ve all experienced the disappointment of visiting the supermarket only to find all the bog roll has been snapped up by hoarders. Luckily, our Quarantine Survival Experts have developed several viable alternatives you can make at home from everyday household items. All you’ll need is a couple of dad’s old school ties or your neighbour's crisp white pillow cases hanging on the laundry line to enjoy some premium, DIY wipes.

DEEPFAKE101 - Discerning Fact from Fake News on Social Media

Did patient 0 really catch COVID-19 from eating a bat? Does drinking warm water or blow-drying your face kill the virus? Did Tom Hanks really get COVID-19 from french kissing a volleyball? These are important questions, and in this unit we’ll show you how to know which Facebook posts can be trusted, and which are clickbait headlines your grandma sent you about how the government invented COVID-19 to keep everyone inside while it changed the batteries in all the birds.

STAYAWAY101 - Social Distancing Made Easy

You're used to an extra serving of garlic bread encouraging others to keep their distance. But we all need to do our part to help stop the spread of COVID-19 by minding the 1.5m gap between each other. In this unit we’ll cover three proven methods to maintain your personal space: Interpretive Dance (tactical movements such as the ‘helicopter’), Assertive Chanting (“One Point Five Meters Please!… Stop The Disease!...Cover Your Mouth When You Sneeze!), and Advanced Protective Gear, in which we’ll show you how to build your own protective bubble with duct tape, an old tyre and 50 wooden bamboo BBQ skewers.

Outcomes

This course will can you get a job as:

Job Title
Bondi Beach Security
Video Conferencing Technician
Social Media Fact Checker

Course Providers

The following institutions provide this course.

Delivered online via blurry, pixelated video streams thanks to nationwide bandwidth limitations. No refunds.

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